in a fishbowl

okie. some people don't understand the fishy comic (see below)... so i shall attempt to explain. (tho' i always believe that comics are meant to speak for themselves. :P )

the fish in a fishbowl is asking "is this all there is to life?" ..."so this is it?"

erm...geddit?

And I shall similar sentiments.

I feel increasingly that there's more to life than this fishbowl. That there's more I can and should do. My contract with ITE will be up by end of the year. And I dunnoe what to do. What i should do. Where i should go. What step to take next. Which direction to move in. What it is I really want to accomplish.

I really envy people who know what they want to do in life, or at least what their next step of action will be, and even where they'd be going.

My boss has been talking to me about my career path. She's been asking me what is it I want to do while working here. Matter of fact is that she has been asking me that since my work review last June and still, I've yet to have given her any answer. Recently, she's been asking if i want to try teaching.

Teaching. Which, looking at the way things are going, will probably be facilitating and project management by next year.

But that's not the dilemna. the main qns is, do i want to stay here?

In all honesty, I love my job. I love the kids I come into contact with. I love the blend of administrative duties during term time and the opportunity to interact with the kids every holiday during the camps. I love the many projects we get involved in, so much so that I think my dept does more events management than teaching. I love the environment i'm working in. I have great colleagues that are more than just working associates. I have bosses whose favour i've gained. I mean, this IS an ideal working place, for me anyway. Of coz there are some aspects which sux....but overall, I do like working here. In short, its safe.

And yet, I feel like I want to try something new. Do something daring. Push myself to my limits. Challenge my abilities. Its like... marrying ur first love. Don't u wonder if there's someone better? (okie. bad analogy)

I can be safe in my little fishbowl.

But a small part of me wants to see the sea. Nope... wants to be in the sea.

And somehow, I know if i don't get to venture into the sea, there'd always be this stirring in my heart.

I don't want to live with regret not knowing what I could have done.

but the safe part of me says, "why bother? why shake your boat? be contented. let those flighty dreams die. put ur 2 feet in the ground and be realistic."


I dunnoe man. I need some career guidance.