breakfast thoughts

I had breakfast with my folks Saturday morning. Just a leisurely morning, deciding what to eat, doing a bout of marketing, spending time together.

This morning after the 8am service at CEFC, dad gave me a lift to Orchard where I had my breakfast at Coffee Bean and spent a bit of quiet time alone.

The family sitting next to me displays typical family behaviour. The mother is helping the younger child with his food. The teenager sits and eats quietly. In fact, I never hear him utter a single word through out the meal. The father reads his newspaper, creating a barrier between him and his family. That's the typical Singaporean family for you.

Spending time together, yes. Communicating, well, yes too, if we see the non-verbal communication going on at that moment.

Is it no wonder I'm critical and cynical about family issues?

Just the other day a group of colleagues were having a discussion over lunch about parenting and children. I vehemently state that parents cannot determine the future of a child no matter how great a job the parents may think they have done.

I'm not saying that parents should thus be irresponsible, but what I'm saying is that parents can do all within their means to bring the child up the best way they know how, but how the child ultimately turn out is really not within our means to determine.

I've seen children of church leaders rebelling and leaving the faith despite being brought up in a positive Christian environment. I've seen children of pastors opening going against the teachings of God with all things secular. I've seen children brought up by good honest parents straying onto the wrong path. I've read of children who turned out to be murderers despite their parents' love.

Its not easy being a parent. To put in a whole lifetime in nurturing a child and yet being unable to control the outcome. That's why I believe parents are merely given the stewardship of child upbringing. They can, they should do their best, but how the child turns out can be really unpredictable. Of coz good parenting probably reduces the possibility of the child turning out wrong. but one cannot deny that there's still a percentage of possibility.

That's why I maintain that having a child is a great responsibility, not one i'd readily accept.

But if one day I should become a mother, I would choose to do what Em did. Because if you want to be one, you've gotta put in nothing but your best. (of coz, "best" is defined differently by different people, so i'm not saying working mothers are not putting in your best. :P better add disclaimer, else later kenna hantam. heh )