it was disastrous.
Sometimes they are deserving of praise, but the mistakes the few made covered over the admiration we had for them.
I told them that they were a disappointment. Honestly, I was disappointed because though they apologised for their behaviour at Part I of the camp but still, they behaved no differently. Never say sorry when u 1. don't know what u're sorry for. 2. don't intend to ammend your mistakes.
But all through out the journey back, I wondered if i should have said that. I thought it through over and over again all through out the bus journey. Should I have said what I said? Was i disappointed in them, or was I more disappointed in myself?
For not correcting them? For being overly nice and extending deadlines time and again? For being lax on them? For being naive and gullible in showing concern to those who do not deserve it? For being reminded time and again of my incompetence? For being unable to have a clear stand on matters that I'm unfamiliar with? For feeling like I'm constantly failing someone's expectations?
i'm constantly fighting. fighting within myself.
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I did ponder if I said what I have said and if I should say more to what I actually should say. It's over now and I'm thinking what needed to be done when we give out the certs.
And, you are not incompetent, we are just making mild mistakes as we learn. Just don't repeat them will do. And who has ever learnt without making mistakes?
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