back from my usual 3D2N Student Leadership camp with the kids. I cannot be more thankful to have the 4 student facilitators and my 2 colleagues with me thru' out the camp ( see pic above) . The other 4 staff facilitators were .... how shall I put it... quite a challenge to work with, to put it mildly, and very kindly. When I recall how they treated my student facilitators I get really pissed, because they (the male teachers) "joked" about their religion and really disrespected them and their friends. To me, as a non-teaching staff, I really have no right to comment on their teaching ability, but when one is not even able to show basic respect for another person, regardless of his/her status ( as a student, colleague, etc), especially lack of respect for the other person's religion, it really irks me.
What pissed me even more is that I can't do anything about it! When the students shared with me how they felt, and what was being done to them, I had this impulse to charge up to the room and confront the staff facilitators, but I knew, it wasn't just my job at stake, but also my bosses' and the department's reputation and working relationship with the other departments at risk. I can only reassure my students that they are truly appreciated and they just got to learn how to work with all types of people. I hate being politically correct. I hate being the "adult" dishing out advices which honestly, I don't really believe in myself. I wld much rather be the impulsive youth who would have marched up and confronted them without hesitation.
I realised that I'm too fiercely loyal. I have this desire to protect those I love, those under my charge. Thus, i believe the students very easily, when it could easily be their bias opinions of the teachers. I wanted to stand up for them, to fight for their rights, to protect them from such behaviour. And it pisses me when I'm unable to do so.
Anyway, the kids are adorable. There was a theme party on the last night where students are to come dressed as "My Hero, My Leader", and explain why he/she is their hero/leader. I heard quite a number of touching stories, of why her mother, her sister, his father, Prophet Muhammad, Patch Adams was his/her hero/leader. I heard of how a mother is a student's hero because she brought the children up single-handedly. I realised how many of them came from single-parent families. I heard of how a brother acted as a friend/brother/father to a girl. Honestly, it was inspiring. I was amazed at how some supposedly naughty malay boys actually took effort to dress up. One of them even painted himself green like Shrek. :)
Its all these wonderful memories and experiences that I have through interacting with these students that motivate me in this job that is mostly administrative. It really makes the months of preparation work and increased level of stress worthwhile. Its all these experiences that make me love my job and move on with passion, that make me think twice about quitting my job.
Young people drive me. Their exuberance, their innocence, their sincerity, their willingness to open up and share their lives. It makes u realise that their "hard" exterior, their show of attitude, their curtness in their words are just a facade to protect their fragile souls.
I meant to take Friday off to rest from the camp. A lack of sleep is giving me a headache. But unfortunately, there is just too much work to do, that it's impossible for me to take the day off. I'm feeling quite sore about it.. but oh well, I'm taking it in my stride. Realising that sometimes its important to be a good worker, more than just thinking of my own well-being.
In fact, I'm at The Cathay right now, enjoying my sausage egg crepe roll. :) I just brought a student D to observe the procedures of a speech competition which he'd be participating on Saturday. It was nice to spend a bit of one-to-one time with him just chatting about life in general, school, his CCA, gf, work, etc. It allowed me to get to know him better as a person. (and also, he just realised i'm only 25..... sheesh..he actually thot i was 30?!!!!) Its all these personal moments that I work for. haha.. and its really quite nice when a student offers to treat me lunch. :)
A lot of people ask me why is it that I don't go and teach since I love young people so much.
I dunnoe. I just love being with them, but I don't like teaching them. Its the whole "transmitting knowledge" part that I fear that I'm unable to deliver. I totally sux at the whole discipline thing.
Sometimes, I give the worst kinds of advice. haha... I actually told my student facilitators to go beat up the teachers when they are asleep! hahhaa.. sheesh, i better not let my bosses see this. :P
What pissed me even more is that I can't do anything about it! When the students shared with me how they felt, and what was being done to them, I had this impulse to charge up to the room and confront the staff facilitators, but I knew, it wasn't just my job at stake, but also my bosses' and the department's reputation and working relationship with the other departments at risk. I can only reassure my students that they are truly appreciated and they just got to learn how to work with all types of people. I hate being politically correct. I hate being the "adult" dishing out advices which honestly, I don't really believe in myself. I wld much rather be the impulsive youth who would have marched up and confronted them without hesitation.
I realised that I'm too fiercely loyal. I have this desire to protect those I love, those under my charge. Thus, i believe the students very easily, when it could easily be their bias opinions of the teachers. I wanted to stand up for them, to fight for their rights, to protect them from such behaviour. And it pisses me when I'm unable to do so.
Anyway, the kids are adorable. There was a theme party on the last night where students are to come dressed as "My Hero, My Leader", and explain why he/she is their hero/leader. I heard quite a number of touching stories, of why her mother, her sister, his father, Prophet Muhammad, Patch Adams was his/her hero/leader. I heard of how a mother is a student's hero because she brought the children up single-handedly. I realised how many of them came from single-parent families. I heard of how a brother acted as a friend/brother/father to a girl. Honestly, it was inspiring. I was amazed at how some supposedly naughty malay boys actually took effort to dress up. One of them even painted himself green like Shrek. :)
Its all these wonderful memories and experiences that I have through interacting with these students that motivate me in this job that is mostly administrative. It really makes the months of preparation work and increased level of stress worthwhile. Its all these experiences that make me love my job and move on with passion, that make me think twice about quitting my job.
Young people drive me. Their exuberance, their innocence, their sincerity, their willingness to open up and share their lives. It makes u realise that their "hard" exterior, their show of attitude, their curtness in their words are just a facade to protect their fragile souls.
I meant to take Friday off to rest from the camp. A lack of sleep is giving me a headache. But unfortunately, there is just too much work to do, that it's impossible for me to take the day off. I'm feeling quite sore about it.. but oh well, I'm taking it in my stride. Realising that sometimes its important to be a good worker, more than just thinking of my own well-being.
In fact, I'm at The Cathay right now, enjoying my sausage egg crepe roll. :) I just brought a student D to observe the procedures of a speech competition which he'd be participating on Saturday. It was nice to spend a bit of one-to-one time with him just chatting about life in general, school, his CCA, gf, work, etc. It allowed me to get to know him better as a person. (and also, he just realised i'm only 25..... sheesh..he actually thot i was 30?!!!!) Its all these personal moments that I work for. haha.. and its really quite nice when a student offers to treat me lunch. :)
A lot of people ask me why is it that I don't go and teach since I love young people so much.
I dunnoe. I just love being with them, but I don't like teaching them. Its the whole "transmitting knowledge" part that I fear that I'm unable to deliver. I totally sux at the whole discipline thing.
Sometimes, I give the worst kinds of advice. haha... I actually told my student facilitators to go beat up the teachers when they are asleep! hahhaa.. sheesh, i better not let my bosses see this. :P
2 comments:
Haha I laughed after reading this entry, at the last line mainly. Well I think sometimes people get away with things because they simply have not been told how inappropriate their actions/words were. I would encourage the students to talk openly to the teachers how their words impacted them right after they said it. But now, there's nothing we can do. But at least they have you! :)
I can see that you have great passion for young people. The students are fortunate to have you during their camps.
I can feel your frustration because I really detest those racist comments/ jokes. I have colleagues who are so racist that they simply degrade other races. I find such behavior immature.
I'm glad that you found the reason to stay and I believe you can go on to explore that passion of yours. Will continue to pray for you and may God lead you in the path that He wants you to go. Have faith and be blessed for you are a blessing to many young lives out there.
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