The reason is Him

Today I experienced a pain in my right knee never experienced before. It came the moment i sat down in the seat on the bus on the way to church. I couldn't move my leg or it would send pain waves up my thighs. I had to use my hands to lift my leg or hold my knee tightly if I were to make any slight movement in my seat at all. Can't even change the angle at which my knee was bended.

Naturally, I was scared.

All sorts of thoughts came to mind, mainly was how was i supposed to climb up the flight of stairs to the church? Perhaps I should just alight at the bus-stop and take a cab up? Heck, maybe i should just go home. freaking painful.

Silently, I prayed for God to ease the pain. No big prayer for miracle healing. I just asked for Him to ease the pain a little so I may at least climb up the flight of stairs to church.

Funnily, memories of stories told by Rev Lai of people in rural towns and villages making long tough rough journeys to church came to mind. I saw an old lady hobbling up the hill with the help of her daughter. And then it dawned upon me.

That going to church is not about myself. It's not even about how i feel when I worship Him. That all it is about is Him. The primary reason for going to church is not to meet my spiritual needs, not to have a space to serve, not for myself, but for God. To render worship to God because He deserves it. Because He is worthy of it.

A song came to mind. "I was made to praise You, i was made to glorify Your name, in every circumstance, to find a chance to thank You. I was made to love You, I was made to worship at Your feet, and to obey You Lord, I was made for You."

People go to church for different reasons. All of which were/are mine too.

Because of:
- family
- acts of service
- routine
- habit
- responsibility
- accountability
- requirement of a Christian, more so a Christian leader
- to feed my spiritual need
- to listen to His Word
- guilt if don't go
- desiring the blessing of God
- desiring to feel God
- expectations of others
- wanting to attain peace and rest.
- etc

I believe that these reasons are not wrong.

But today i realised that the greatest reason of all is to praise God. Because He is deserving of all praise and honor and glory. Because that is what we are made for. To worship Him. To praise HIM. To give Him all that is due Him.

Today during corporate prayer, the pastor said to pray in thanksgiving for God's blessings, His word, His provision. But it dawned upon me that the greatest thanksgiving is not all these. It's not even what He did on the cross. Its not even the redemption of our sins. Its not even about His saving grace. Its not even about His love. But the greatest thanksgiving is God Himself. it is who He is. Not who He is to me, or to you. But to thank God simply for who He is. God.

I was so excitied about this personal revelation today that right after service i was so anxious to share it with my friends. I guess I've known at the back of my mind that its not about me, but about God, and yet, it is today that i really knew it. That its no longer just knowing it, but understanding it. It was as if light illuminated into a dark corner of my room to reveal His truth. It was as if yet another part of my spiritual blindness was removed to allow me to truly understand this truth. :)

Psalm 16: 11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.