I've been wanting to blog about this for a few days now. But i haven't had the time and privacy to actually sit down and type out this extract from the book. However, today I specially took time off this warm Saturday to head down to a nice cafe to blog about this. Thus, here i am in Coffee Club in Kino typing this.
This is a totally new book which I bought at Techman just the other day, and I'm really enjoying the read. It's teaching a lot about listening to others. Not just hearing the words uttered by people, but learning to listen to others; about hearing their pain or turmoil - or sharing their joy - or providing physically for someone sick or hungry.
The following extract is taken from Chapter 5 "Learning to Listen" (pg 78), which is actually extracted from another book written by Henri Nouwen "Compassion".
"When do we receive real comfort and consolation? Is it when someone teaches us how to think or act? Is it when we receive advice about where to go or what to do? Is it when we hear words of reassurance and hope? Sometimes, perhaps. But what really counts is that in moments of pain and suffering someone stays with us. More important than any particular action or word or advice is the simple presence of someone who cares. When someone says to us in the midst of a crisis, " I do not know what to say or what to do, but I want you to realize that I am with you, that I will not leave you alone," we have a friend through whom we can find consolation and comfort ... Simply being with someone is difficult because it asks of us that we share in the other's vulnerability, enter with him or her into the experience of weakness and powerlessness, become part of uncertainty, and give up control and self-determination. And still, whenever this happens, new strength and new hope is being born."
Further on in the chapter on page 84, she quotes from another author, Norman Wakefield from his book " Learn to be a listener!".
" Listening says, " I want to understand you. I want to know you." It is one of the most basic ways to convey a sense of respect, to treat another person with dignity. Through this act we affirm to another person that God is willing to listen, that He eagerly waits for His troubled child to come to Him and discover the compassion and deep concern of His loving Father.
Unquestionably, the listening I have been speaking about is a powerful form of ministry. Such listening embodies something of the nature of God Himself. It makes available to the Holy Spirit a channel through which to communicate love and a helpful, appropriate response."
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I appreciate friends who take time out to be with me, who calls me when I need to hear a caring voice, who sense my need to be drawn out of my facade, who take me on long drives, who sit silently with me.
"What are you willing to spend on?"
Some of my friends say food, others say cosmetics, books, clothes, travel, entertainment, etc.
I thought about it, and I realise that one thing I'm willing to spend on is - time with loved ones and things which make them happy.
And if that means eating at an expensive restaurant, so be it. If it means an expensive theatre production, so be it. If it means spending on something I wouldn't get for myself, so be it. It matters to me to be able to spend quality time with them, doesn't matter what we do, or how much we spend to do it together. Because I believe that time with people I treasure and sharing in a memory/experience isn't something that can have a value placed on it. It goes beyond cost.
Sometimes when I'm out alone, I am amused to see couples who sit down for meals and besides asking each other what they want to eat, they have nothing more to say to one another.
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Just a little observation :
As I sit in this little corner of Coffee Club, the table next to me has changed patrons twice. The first group was a group of 3 girls who were gossiping about their boyfriends and their friends' boyfriends, and what they do/do not do as boyfriends. The second group next to me now is a group of 5 guys who are hanging around waiting to meet their girlfriends in town, and talking about random matters
3 comments:
Sounds like a good book. Sounds like a book many people should read. - D W
who's D W ???
There'll always be someone who's willing to be a listening ear. The Lord always knows when to send that special person to minister at that particular time. Sometimes, we're the ones that are picked to be somebody else's listener. We just have to listen hard enough to Him too :)
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